32-year-old woman breaks up with her 34-year-old boyfriend of 5 years after he refuses to propose, giving his brother $1500 for his birthday instead of buying a ring: 'He told me that he would propose before the end of the year. It's been over 2 years'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Apr 16, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

Do any of y'all remember that old Twitter trend, #WasteHisTime2016? This hashtag brought single women who wanted to waste men's time together, joking about the various ways they could do so. While it's funny to joke about asking a guy if he's good with his hands and then forcing him to put together an IKEA dresser for 6 hours, it's less fun when someone actually gets their time majorly wasted in a relationship that's never going to go anywhere. I know people who have been strung along for years in relationships, only to get broken up with, losing out on precious time when they're young and healthy. I don't mean to be presumptuous, but if you don't know if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone after being together for 5 years, you might be participating in Waste His/Her/Their time 2025, and that's not good. 

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  • The woman in this story put all her cards on the table and still got her time wasted. She told her boyfriend that she needed a ring on her finger before their first year of living together was up, and he did nothing of the sort.

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    Cheezburger Image 10494750976
    via Curated Lifestyle (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    AITA for breaking up and treating him like a stranger after he falsely promised marriage as a condition for living together?

    My (F32) boyfriend (Alan M34) and I have been together for 5 years. We talked about marriage since year #2. We put all our cards on the table, including deal breakers and expectations. We agreed to move in together on the condition of getting engaged.
    via u/Helpful_Remote1682
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    He told me that he would propose before the end of the year. My family was de d set against it. They said moving together without a ring on it was risky. I paid no ring and went ahead. It's been over 2 years. No engagement, there has been no proposal, and there's no ring.
    via u/Helpful_Remote1682
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    In the meantime, I've kept my word to be there for him as a partner. He lost his job and I took on some extra work to cover all our bills. He found a new job, and I coached him through problems with his new boss. His family has
    via u/Helpful_Remote1682
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    a history of conflict and are constantly creating bad situations for themselves, and I've done my best to help him solve their sh without being too judgemental because at the end of the day, it affects him.
    via u/Helpful_Remote1682
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    I've asked him about our engagement so many times that I feel like I'm begging. He has been vague and has asked to leave our conversation for another day because he's tired, and wedding plans would be exhausting. I've
    via u/Helpful_Remote1682
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    been direct and asked if he changed his mind. I need to know because he repeatedly said otherwise before renting a place, and I need to know where I stand.
    via u/Helpful_Remote1682
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    I'm not presumptuous, I don't need a flashy expensive ring. I just need to know that he meant his promise.
    via u/Helpful_Remote1682
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    Cheezburger Image 10494767616
    via Jackie Tsang

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    We tried this conversation again, and he took it lightly. I tried again days later, and he looked annoyed when I'm just asking for a clear answer. He has postponed the proposal without a clear reason. What bothers me is that
    via u/Helpful_Remote1682
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    he was more open to it back when he felt vulnerable. I don't want to be with a man who will only mention marriage out of survival, and I told him.
    via u/Helpful_Remote1682
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    I asked him a few weeks ago because I can't deal with monosyllables, changing the subject and the general limbo. He snapped at me and said that a relationship is much more than a wedding, and that I'm pressuring him. I swallowed my pride and
    via u/Helpful_Remote1682
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    reminded him that I loved him and that spending the rest of our lives together was all I wanted. He softened up and said to please understand that he loves me, but pressing the issue was hurting our relationship. I asked if that was a no, and he said he never said that. I feel like a second-class person in his life, and I don't know how he can love me and ruin my trust.
    via u/Helpful_Remote1682
  • 14
    I found out that he won't buy me a ring, but he put 1,500 USD towards his younger brother's 30th birthday celebration, all while I'm covering a bit over 60% of our expenses. I confronted him directly, and he looked like he didn't know what to say. I ended
    via u/Helpful_Remote1682
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    up crying because he's changed so much that his efforts to help me celebrate my birthdays have gone a bit half assed. He's giving out money that he can't afford to spend, but I had to buy my own Sara Lee cake while trying not to make him self conscious about spending.
    via u/Helpful_Remote1682
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    I decided to move out after feeling crushed and being convinced that he lied to me. Our lease ends on May 30th and I told him that I'm leaving. He asked me many times if I'm 100% sure this is what I want, and I said I have no choice because he walked all over my dignity. I'm sleeping on
    via u/Helpful_Remote1682
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    the sofa because seeing him hurts a lot. He has tried to talk, but I'm afraid this will turn into another 2 years of me pouring myself into his needs, and he will just keep stringing me along.
    via u/Helpful_Remote1682
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    He asked if we could at least talk to the landlord and see if we could get a 3 month extension period, but I declined. He freaked out because his joint custody agreement included that he needed a place of his own
    via u/Helpful_Remote1682
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    (because his ex hates his family and refused to allow their kids to spend extended periods with MIL). I said I'm sorry, but he just needs to get moving and find his own solution.
    via u/Helpful_Remote1682
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    I'm leaving on Monday so that I can stay with a friend. I don't care if I still have to pay for my remaining portion of the rent, I don't want to see him.
    via u/Helpful_Remote1682
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    He came to the living room because he wanted to talk and asked me if I would be comfortable moving on to someone else. I refused to answer and have been short with him because there's no way that I can forgive him. To be fair, he does look drenched and emotionally disturbed by my decision.
    via u/Helpful_Remote1682
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    I've already blocked his entire family, and when he found out, I said I no longer have any obligation towards anyone on his side.
    via u/Helpful_Remote1682
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    Cheezburger Image 10494768128
    via freestocks

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    He asked to talk about our relationship, and I asked not to interact (because it makes me want to cry).
    via u/Helpful_Remote1682
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    Last night, he went to sleep on the futton next to where I'm sleeping and said he just wants to stay close because he will be crushed once I'm gone. I asked him to please go to the bedroom or I'll just be forced to stay in a hotel. He says he understands my point of view but that I'm treating him like sh. AITA?
    via u/Helpful_Remote1682
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    Anxious-Routine-5526 NTA. You were clear from the get-go what you wanted/needed out of the relationship. He agreed and said he wanted the same things. Then, he failed to follow through for years.
    via u/Anxious-Routine-5526
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    You invested in the relationship 100%, him less so. You reached your end and are leaving. He's now in the "find out" portion, and reality has hit. He's scared. He never thought you'd have the backbone and walk. The consequences of his inactions are playing out, so now he's suddenly interested in talking/working things out. Good for you for moving on.
    via u/Anxious-Routine-5526
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    Uglym8s NTA. He's been using you and stringing you along with empty promises. You should've left when the proposal didn't come at the end of the year that you moved in together.
    via u/Uglym8s
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    more_like_borophyll_ He's already given you your answer, I'm so sorry. If he wanted to marry you, you'd be married. Please leave ASAP - do not give him the fun years of your 30s. Go find yourself and someone who loves and appreciates you.
    via u/more_like_borophyll_
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    I come from the future - every crappy relationship I've had I wish I'd left way earlier. I'm happily married with a wonderful kiddo and a life I'm grateful for. I wouldn't have any if it if... ....if I'd let the men who used me as a resource fool me into believing that's what love and partnership is. Good luck to you. Move out today.
    via u/more_like_borophyll_
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    Available_Bag_6759 Stay strong, don't fall for his manipulations. He's just realised he lost his support and that he needs to take care of himself. Please move on from this man. You deserve to be with someone who loves you and respects you NTA
    via u/Available_Bag_6759
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    Crazy4Swayze420 NTA funny how when you treat him like sh : its a problem but when he does it to you it's status quo
    via u/Crazy4Swayze420
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    bopperbopper She's not treating him like sh. She's treating him like he can take care of himself.
    via u/bopperbopper

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Dating-Relationships boyfriend toxic relationships marriage proposal reddit story proposal relationships girlfriend moving breakup Reddit toxic relationship breakups moving out
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